Heard the one about ...

...the Purina Diet?


I'm standing at the end of a large queue in Costco with two 15KG bags of Purina Dog food.

The woman standing behind me asks if I have a dog.

I say "No, I'm on the Purina Dog Food Diet"

She asks what that is.

I say " You just keep a bag with some kibbles in it on you at all times so that any time you feel hungry, you have them handy to eat. That its a fantastic diet because its a complete food - it has the right balance of carbohydrate, proteins and fibre and even tastes great because of all the meaty juices in it."

At this point everyone in the queue is listening in anxious to heat more about this wonder diet so I continue..

"I 've lost so much weight in this diet.....but I hope I have better success this time on it than I had with it the first time I tried it"

She asks "Why, what happened" - the guy behind her leans in closer so he can hear better...

"Well, the first time I tried it I ended up in Intensive Care, tubes coming out of every orifice and IV lines attached to both arms and hooked up to what felt like dozens of monitors."

She's turned white... the guy behind looks shocked.....

"How come ....?"

"Well, I was sitting on the side of the road liking my arse when a lorry came out of nowhere and ran me over...................................................of course I've got a bloody dog!"