..."Aye well, you can take a duck to water, but you canny make it drink"
- on being told the wean wouldnt take a bottle.
..."Ah know aw about thae cot deaths, its no gonny happen tae ma wean, she's gonny sleep in her pram!"
- on being handed a sudden infant death information leaflet.
...staff - "Well, if you dont want the father to visis, whats his name?"
mum - "A***"
staff - "What's his surname?"
mum- "Ah dont know, but he's got black curly hair an' he wears a leather jaiket!"
- on requestion that the staff bar the father of her child! (CHRIST, dont they even know who they're dropping their knickers for?)
..."Ah'm no puttin' the wean in wan a thae flashing chairs - they lights gie ye epilepsy"
- when another mother had told her about the all-singing all-flashing bouncy chair for babies.
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